Don't Give Yourself a Brain Tumor

I spoke with a customer today who was upset that his account had been flagged as non-profitable. Generally, these designations are reserved for people who use their phones more often than not on another carrier's towers. Since we still have to pay that carrier their roaming dues, we are stuck with an account that is depleting the ever present "bottom-line."

On occasion however, unprofitable accounts can be flagged for another joy we call "excessive usage." What is excessive? How is this arbitrary term defined? Why can't Sunnis and Shiites live together in harmony? Find out these answers and more! (And by more I mean the first two but not necessarily the third).

We offer calling plans that are unlimited in the sense that you don't pay additional provided you follow all the rules of your plan. Granted, all that is not spelled out in promotional marketing (although it should be), but one would assume unlimited within reason. What is reasonable for an unlimited plan? Most people I've had the "pleasure" of coming across have had approximately 2000-4000 minutes used per month. That equates to around 33 to 66 hours per month. While it certainly seems excessive for most, those figures are not outside of the norm that we might see. Some may take it a step further, racking up around 6000 to 10,000 minutes per month, representing 100 or more hours per month. That's a lot of talking! However, this still does not raise the bean counter's red flags of hemorrhaging money.

This man I met today had a monthly average anywhere between 12,000 and 15,000 minutes per month. That's 250 hours per month, corresponding to about 8 hours a day on the phone. However, one month, the bill reflected 22,237 total minutes used over a standard thirty (30!) day billing period made up in 2,861 total calls. As we break that down, that is 370 total hours of talking per month which breaks down to 12.5 hours per day on the phone.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is excessive.

When you talk on the phone more than I do, keeping in mind that I converse on the phone for a career(?), you know you have a problem. I certainly hope his lower-level dealers weren't causing trouble or ripping him off or else he'd likely talk you to death ... and probably then go after your Auntie.