Horror Movie Based Ingenuity

Kenny Caperton is on a mission.

Having purchased a plot of land in North Carolina, Kenny is striving to build a faithful recreation of the Myers' House from the original of the Halloween series. Even as some of the following films managed to screw up finding a house that at least bears a passing resemblance to the original (I'm looking at you Halloween 5), Kenny is knee-deep in the construction process with a mostly accurate reproduction of the original with some modern amenities added on.

I applaud you Kenny and hope you get some cool neighbors who can appreciate the history that comes with the area. Here's to hoping that some other horror fans can be represented (same neighborhood would be great) with reproductions of the Thompson's house, perhaps a summer camp nearby a large body of water, and a motel for all the geeky fans like myself to stay at.

Work on this people!

Myers House, NC

Sarah Palin Drinking Game

Here's an idea to combine two American institutions, drinking and politics: the Sarah Palin drinking game.

Similar to other drinking games (my favorite being the 24/Dammit! game), take a shot or drink whenever Sarah Palin says any of the following:

• Alaska
• Job Creation
• Maverick

You should be pretty toasty in no time!

For the record, I like Sarah Palin but thought these items came up with astounding frequency in the debate last week.

Stars of the Week: 10/5

Here is a celebration of various stories deemed worthy enough to have a star in my Google Reader.

Wired: Top 10 Wired Reader Macro Photos...
Some are awesome, some are frightening. Like The Mist frightening.

io9: Would You Survive the Zombie Apocalypse
Zombie simulation without the threat of death and dismemberment. Fantastic.

Cinematical: Yep, Romero's Heading Back to Zombietown
More zombies! Here's to hoping this one is better than the disappointing Diary of the Dead.

Youth of ... Australia?

In sharp contrast to the creepy kid who declared his fondness of the shelled reptiles, a young boy in Sydney, Australia showed the world just how doomed our future really is.

This child of only seven years whose name was not released (likely name: Damien or Mikey if evil child movies are to be believed), unleashed an unspeakable horror on the Alice Springs Reptile Center and left the remains of 13 animals in his wake.

The child then went on a killing spree, bashing three lizards to death with a rock, including the zoo's beloved, 20-year-old goanna, which he then fed to "Terry," an 11-foot, 440-pound saltwater crocodile, said Neindorf.

The boy also fed several live animals to Terry by throwing them over the two fences surrounding the crocodile's enclosure, at one point climbing over the outer fence to get closer to the giant reptile.

How does a 7-year-old go unattended long enough to do this? Where were the parents? How does he have the attention span to throw animals over two fences that he subsequently must climb to feed the alligator? Are we to assume he never played Zoo Tycoon?

If it was an older child, it would still be horrific but more plausible. I sincerely hope this kid is in some kind of A Clockwork Orange-ish social reconditioning for the sake of humanity. Let's hope he never gets a hamster.

AOL: Boy, 7, Breaks Into Zoo, Kills Animals

Stars of the Week: 6/22

Lifehacker:Cheat Sheet for Power Naps
Because I'm all about the naps. Anything that helps facilitate the napping process is awesome.

Lifehacker:RepairPal Finds You an Honest Mechanic
If only there was something like this for dating.

Engadget Mobile:T-Mobile's Samsung t229 launches, looks at us funny
Someone, somewhere is saying: "I've made a huge mistake."
At least they should be. This is terrible.

What's In a Name?

While cleaning out my drafts of unpublished posts, I discovered I actually wrote quite a bit for this one but just never finished it. Thus why the article is dated 1/1/2008.

I often wonder if the people who grow up with those weird (sorry, unique) names end up hating their parents with every fiber of their being for saddling them with such terrible names. Some parents are misguided and think every kid wants to stand out from the rest of their peers. Some parents are pushed into passing along a family name that should have died out generations ago. Some parents indulged in too many psychotropic drugs in their earlier stages of life.

Now, CNN illustrates some of the parents who realized the error in their ways and changed their child's name. While none of the couples in this story had given particularly odd-ball names to their children, perhaps this will be a lesson to those mothers who think the name they choose while heavily anesthetized will have staying power.

Some names however aren't too odd or uncommon, but just really horrible names. For example:

Bertha: Do you want your child to grow up to be overweight and featured on Cops or Jerry Springer (or both)?

Gertrude: What an excellent name! For a grandmother of 12 who smokes 2 packs a day. For a newborn? Not so excellent

Hunter: You might as well petition L.L. Bean for a lifetime supply of plaid overshirts

Demon: Yes, a real name I have seen. Why would you continue to go by this name?

Many more exist and have been previously mocked here, here, and here.

Rogue Baseball Bat Injuries Boy

Frivolous lawsuits are nothing new but the Domalewski family has taken things to a new level.

Young Steven Domalewski was pitching in a Little League game when an opposing player hit a ball into Steven's chest to cause his heart to stop. This subsequently led to brain damage and physical disabilities for the teen.

The Domalewskis is now suing the maker of the baseball bat used at the time, Little League Baseball, and the sporting goods store where the bat was purchased for the incident claiming the metal baseball bat that was used is too dangerous for the youth to hit flying baseballs with.

While it can be seen that this is a terrible accident that will have a lasting effect on the entire family, it is also clear that this is a very stupid lawsuit for the express purpose of extorting money from parties not at fault.

Surprisingly, the child who was responsible for striking the baseball, the manufacturer of the baseball, the laws of physics (specifically regarding motion and force), and God himself were spared from litigation.

Fox News: Parents to Sue Maker of Metal Baseball Bats Over Son's Injury

The Real Reason You Have Crappy Coverage on Your Cell Phone

The next time you are trying to place a call on your cell phone and it does not go through, instead of blaming your wireless provider, consider some alternative causes to your problem.

Your coverage could be affected by many outside factors including your proximity to the nearest tower, usage patterns by those also in your area, materials and architecture type of the building you may be in, or some a-hole who pilfers materials and subsequently jacks up the cell tower.

NBC12: Copper stolen from cell tower in Chesterfield

When Music is Bad for You

At first glance at the headline, I thought this Scientific American article had to do with the hordes of terrible alternative rock and hip-hop songs that make you long for a seizure to escape the damaging mental effects of shitty music. As it turns out, for Stacey Gayle, music was actually causing her to have seizures. While a rare condition which would certainly make having a normal life difficult, I hope that someone afflicted with this condition, musicogenic epilepsy, would be brave enough to go to a shitty concert, have a seizure, and subsequently sue the group out of existence.

This may be a very effective way to reduce the number of terrible bands clogging the airwaves.

Scientific American: When Your Favorite Song Gives You Seizures

Stars of the Week: 5/18

Here is a celebration of various stories deemed worthy enough to have a star in the Google Reader.

Cinematical: The Cereal Heroes Are Coming to Replace Your Favorite Superheroes
My bets are on Snap, Crackle, and Pop. Three against one? No problem.

Switched: Kid Sells Video Games, Then Donates Proceeds to Hillary's Campaign
I guess it could be worse: he could have donated everything to Al Gore. Someone get this kid a life before he becomes disenfranchised before he's even old enough to vote.

Switched: Violent Video Games Don't Cause Violence, Says New Book
Finally, a blog post we can direct our parents to and say: "Ha! Told you so. No, it's reputable! You just don't understand."

Toddler Left Behind in Airport, Macaulay Culkin Laughs

Somewhere, executives at 20th Century Fox are commissioning a writer to start immediately on Home Alone: The Prequel.

Jun Parreno and his family were stopped at a Vancouver airport to pick up a connecting flight to Winnipeg. Having only a short time to dash from one flight to the other, Parreno's 23-month-old was inexplicably abandoned in the airport as each of the adults assumed the young boy was with someone else.

It wasn't until the staff from Air Canada in Vancouver contacted the family did they realize the young tyke was not in tow. Air Canada covered the cost of two additional flights for the father to retrieve the boy.

While it is good the young child was reunited with his family, it is unfortunate that this happened at all. For all the bad rap that they get, this is one scenario that kid leashes could have prevented. Certainly being tethered is not as psychologically scarring as being abandoned.

Boyfriend Pimps out Teen, Mother Cool with It

Perhaps as a follow up piece, this entry should be called "Don't Force Your Babies to be Internet Sex Kittens."

Fox News reports Todd Barkau and a young girl's mother were arrested and charged with the commercial sex trafficking of the young girl starting when she was 12.

Barkau allegedly forced the girl to perform sexual acts not only with him but with other random guys as well that she learned from the regime of pornography she was exposed to. Later, Barkau turned to the internet to pass along the middle-schooler as a barely legal dominatrix.

Where was the mother during all this? She has been accused of assisting with the sexually deviant acts but also encouraging her child to go along with it. I wonder if this means she was more involved with the logistics of setting up and not actually with any of the action.

I would think a 44-year-old mother would be kind of cheesed if her boyfriend was preferring sex with her daughter but who knows?

In other news, Josef Fritzl now has new, albeit weak, competitors in the Worst Parent of the Year contest.

See also: Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Internet Sex Kittens

Don't Drop Out

Now, all those high school students feeling the burden of their academic careers have something substantial to look forward to when going to college. No, I'm not referring to the unfettered opportunities that (allegedly) come with a higher education. Nor am I considering the numerous people you interact with to broaden your understanding of different cultures and norms. No, in addition, you could have a chance to room with someone of the other gender.

Hooray for societal evolution!

This is perfect for those parents attempting to explain why a university is better than technical college.

For some geeky guys, this may even be the only chance to share a room with a real girl until at least their mid thirties.

Don't Misuse the Voicemail Greeting

Last night at work, I had to attempt to call a customer on his phone to follow up with his account. The phone did not ring and went straight to his voicemail greeting.

While most people use voicemail as a purgatory of sorts for people they really don't want to talk to, some use it for really stupid purposes. You have those who think the Sarah Conner in the orignal Terminator film left a fine message and subsequently piss you off when you hear:

Hello? Hello?!? Fooled you! You're talking to a machine.

You have others who decide spending $1 per month on those ringing tones is too much and use the voicemail greeting for a piss-poor quality recording of the new Fall Out Boy song.

Bringing things back to a point, my customer last night had a voicemail greeting consisting of only the following:

If you a bill collector, stop calling. I ain't got it.

So, not only does this tell anyone else who calls that you are probably a deadbeat, it tells these debt collectors of your unwillingness to pay.

I doubt though that will stop the deluge of calls from Entertainment Weekly and Verizon about those delinquent accounts.

Paying them certainly would though.